This looks like it should be fun.

I've not posted all that much recently. Certainly nothing major, a few memes and minor stuff. I don't really feel inclined to do much more than that. I guess my sister's death has affected me more than I might have expected, coming as it has after all the other traumatic events of the past few years. I do sometimes ask, whatever next? And I don't really want to know the answer - unless it concerns good things.

Most people have been very supportive and that has helped me. However, I was a bit shaken by the nasty comments (about something else) I recieved from someone I had thought of as having a bit of a sensible head on their shoulders. I guess I was wrong. Giving them the benefit of the doubt I will assume that they hadn't read my LJ and that emailing me on the weekend before my sister's funeral was not deliberately designed to upset me further. I doubt they will read this as they informed me that they have unfriended me but, hey, thanks a bunch, ratbag.

Life goes on. I can only hope it gets better.

I spent some time this afternoon on the hill in Queens Park, the first time I had been there since the park re-opened. I took some photos while there as it was a lovely sunny day. I also managed to be moving so quietly that I gave a rabbit a fright as I was looking at the oak tree which grows at the western side of the circle!

( photos )

Afterwards I went into the city centre for a wander. I wanted to get a couple of things for the house. I then went into HMV and Fopp to take a look at the DVDs as I have been considering getting the 2nd season of Life on Mars. I want to get the 2nd season of Rome at some point as well but that is for a future payday. The odd thing was that even though I knew I could afford it, having seen LOM in Fopp for £17, I came away empty-handed. In the past year I have only bought one DVD and that was Hot Fuzz at Xmas.

It's weird, I still feel that I have to really justify any expenditure beyond essential living expenses. I have bought things that I might not previously have bought but it's still an odd feeling. I guess I feel with my sister's recent death that I have already spent enough this month on extra trips down to Saltcoats, and yet I know that I want to get this DVD. I just couldn't allow myself to do so somehow.

How can I resist a message in my spam folder which asks "Can your male problems be cured with a pilule?"? Ha! If only.

I fully admit to having a bit of a sick sense of humour, something not appreciated by certain people who can get all self-righteous in their twisted knickers. But that's their loss, and my gain.

and I know how to use it.

With dalg on hols I am the remaining mod in the Glasgow Southside SF Yahoo group. With a few twitches of my oh so powerful fingers I have just felled a spammer. So perish all who annoy me (or so I would like)!

I decided to empty my spam folder today. I know that they write the headings in order to get you to open them but really some of them are just so daft. All spelling and grammar is as seen.

Speaking of which, this heading would really tempt me to sign up, "SAD because of Low EDUCATION? Cheap price Degree/Bacheelor/MasteerMBA/PhDD Certificate". Yes, I've always wanted to be a Bacheelor of something, with a PhDD to follow.

Someone seems to be planning an invasion of Iran and thinks I will be interested.
" US army is about 20 kilometers from Tegeran" followed the next day by "Plans for Iran attack began". Then there's one which says "Test your missles now" but I think that's talking about funny blue pills.

"Don't be small forever, take action today", Gosh, do you really think I can be taller than 5 feet 5 inches?

"Manchester United chooses Maxgain", well we all know footballers are a bunch of pricks and probably do have small ones which would explain their loud and obnoxious behaviour.

"Let me show you my tits - your credit card won't be charged" - well that's a relief. And what's with all the "You look really stupid in this video" ones? Why would that encourage me to fall for their nonsense?

Do I look like I come from Planet Gullible?

Your result for The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test...

Elf

You scored 0% Size & Strength, 53% Morality, 53% Aggression, and 71% Intelligence.

Take The What Middle Earth race do you belong to Test at HelloQuizzy

*on my bookshelf

I am not long back from Saltcoats where my sister's funeral took place today. It has been an upsetting day and now it is over. The majority of people have been very supportive, recognising that it is a difficult time, and I want to thank you for your thoughts. There have been others who could have picked a better time to have a go at me, and they know who they are. I don't thank them for their thoughts.

Time for bed. Tomorrow is another day.

Whoops. Sorry about my Zen post earlier today. I was going to say something, then I realised time was moving on and I had been faffing about in the house too much so I shut the PC down and saved empty space. On the other hand maybe I just did it to confuse people. I guess I succeeded!

I was faffing about as I knew I had to go to my parents in Saltcoats today. It looks as though my sister's funeral will be on Tuesday as they now have a death certificate which will allow the funeral to take place as the post mortem took longer to happen for some reason. It will not be a pleasant day. No funeral is. But funerals which involve parents saying goodbye to their children are the worst kind.

The last funeral I was at was that of Insa, in 2001, where I was part of the largest circle I have ever been in, over 100 people. (See http://www.caerclud.vscotland.org.uk/funeral.html where I called the eastern quarter.) I will not be able to do anything at this one. Indeed I will have to be Stealth Pagan as my parents have no idea of my choice of beliefs and all hell would break loose if they knew, especially as my parents' church has become more evangelical of late. It's also going to be a two part funeral as there will be a cremation which will be followed at some point by an interment of the ashes in the family grave where my grandparents and my uncle are in Stevenston. At least that part can be looked on as somewhat Pagan as she is going to be with her ancestors - although as far as I am concerned she is with them already.

Today I was in Saltcoats. My parents are not taking it at all well and I do not look forward to Tuesday. The house smells lovely due to all the flowers that have arrived, which is nice, but my mother has told me that she had to put anything that belonged to my sister away because even a pair of socks would upset my father. He is being all dour Scots over the whole thing, stiff upper lip and all that, but I heard his voice when he called the undertaker on the phone and I know it has got to him. I remember sitting next to him at my gran's funeral and I heard the change in his breathing when the service began. He is of the generation who will never admit to having any feelings. The funeral will not be good and I need to become Vulcan-like once more to cope with it.

I'm watching Dr Who on BBC3 just now. A couple of points spring to mind.( poss spoilers )

Last night I lit a candle on my altar for my sister. Tonight I have one burning for xnamkrad who died this morning as announced on anonymousclaire .

Frank came up with the "To Life" website at http://www.tolife.shadowcat.name/ and the idea of raising a toast to life at 8.00pm on the 1st May. I think this is something we should ensure continues.

Now, I don't want to have to be lighting anymore candles for some time to come - please.

I am very upset at my sister's death. On the other hand I can only be glad that it was sudden, as if she had developed something which would have meant a long drawn out illness (such as cancer for example) she did not have the ability to tell us of this. That is something to be thankful for.

I have asked the ancestors to take care of her. I have a candle burning on my altar. I expect she may try to contact me over the next few weeks but I hope the ancestors are with her. I guess this is why I have been feeling the way I have recently.

I want to thank everyone for their expressions of sympathy. I would ask you to think of my sister's friends and the staff at the day centre as the staff will have to try to explain what has happened to them. It has been a very upsetting day for everyone, one which I never saw coming.

I have just come home to the news that my sister Moira has died suddenly. She was 43.
She had been autistic all her life and lived at home with my parents. She attended a day care facility which is where she was this afternoon when she died suddenly. They beleive it was an aneurysm but they won't be sure until a post-mortem is carried out, after which the funeral can be arranged.

I had a good time on Saturday when we were up Gleniffer Braes, even though we all got rather wet, but it left me very tired all day Sunday. I went to my bed later than I meant to in the evening. I had rather hoped to sleep all night but I woke up at 3.00am for no apparent reason and couldn't get back to sleep for about 2 hours. If it had been the weekend I would have got up until I felt tired again but as I knew I was going to work in a few hours time I couldn't.

I am feeling a bit weepy and down. I'm not sure why. It may be a touch of PMT working on me as otherwise I'm getting on with things. It could even be the Runrig I've been playing on my MP3 player. It reminds me of Hogmanay and that's always been a depressing time for me, but I was fine earlier in the day when I played it on my way to work.

I just don't know what's up with me. Maybe I'll go out a walk. The park is open again after the murder investigation so maybe it's time to pay a trip to the stones. I'm not concerned about going into the park because of the murder. It's happened, and it's something that, in theory, could happen anywhere. You would never set foot outside the door if you were scared of thngs like that. I was in the park 2 days before the murder, about 9.30pm, and had no problems. Anyway, let's not forget I possess the Iron Hand of Doom :-)

It probably is a touch of PMT. I was allowing silly things to annoy me this morning and I kept dropping things. I'm on Evening Primrose which seems to help. If I go out a walk before I make my tea that will probably help.

*edit* I've just read my horoscope for today! It says "Be careful of letting your heart get carried away today. Extreme emotions are likely to be on the scene, making you hyper-aware of the environment around you and what other people are thinking about you. You may find yourself wanting to retreat to the forest and seek council with the fairies and trolls. Fantasy is a terrific way to escape the emotional intensity that is likely to air on a day like today."

Oh boy. I am not long up, having set the alarm for 8.00 then 9.00 and constant hitting of the snooze button. I had no idea it had gotten to after 10.00!

I was tired last night. I had been out on the hills and, although I got rather wet, it was a very good day. When I got home I watched Dr Who. I was a bit worried in case my video had decided to throw a strop and not tape but luckily it had worked, which was good because it was a corker, with more to come next week.

I really must look into an alternative to video. I wonder if the Freeview PVRs are any good? I don't have broadband, and am not likely to have for some time yet as there are other more important financial issues to deal with first, so that is not a solution.

I've had a very odd dream. I dreamed I was at a con where I felt I was supposed to be on the committee or something like that but was experiencing interference from somewhere. One of the programme items involved watching people writing stuff on mud in a cauldron. I had tried to take part but was prevented from doing so by someone who wrote something nasty about me on some mud and who refused to hand over a committee badge. In the dream I had to find ways around this problem, which I apparently did to the fury of the awkward person. Wonder what that was all about?

I had better go and get my breakfast as I am cat-sitting for some friends and I also will be going to the Art Galleries for a guided tour this afternoon.

The newsreader woman on BBC1 just now has just said that she wonders where the word "pescetarian" comes from. It really doesn't take much in the way of brain cells to work out what it means and where it comes from.

I'm glad that the term is becoming more widely used as it will hopefully get rid of the annoying instances where people, especially lazy caterers who can't be arsed educating themselves, make the assumption that if you are vegetarian that you will eat fish. The answer to that is a big whopping NO!

I am not long in from Yggdrasil moot. We had a good turn out and a good round of toasting. One thing that I have had dawn on me tonight is really quite significant. I have long blamed the buying of my first mjollnir as what made the Heathen gods take an interest in me but I was wrong. It was earlier than that - much earlier but I only realised it tonight.

I read "The Hobbit" as a very young teenager. I became fascinated by the runes used in the book and taught myself how to read and write them - I guess that's asking for trouble, considering who it was who found the runes. Doh!

I couldn't help noticing the sky on my way home. It's still very light, only dark towards the east. It makes me want to sit out all night, however as I am working tomorrow that really isn't practical. Maybe I can manage it this weekend somehow - I really feel like it.

As seen on astrothsknot's LJ.

It's Ladybird books but not as we know them.

http://seorant.ath.cx/police/ladybird.html

My team at work has got into the habit of reading the thought for the day from the calendar on one of the desks. It also gives you what happened on that day in history.

Yesterday was the anniversary of the Battle of Bannockburn when the Scots defeated the English in 1314. One team member then added his version of events along the lines of this being the battle when the Jacobites and Bonnie Prince Charlie went to Skye where he then burnt some cakes after being asked to look after them for some woman.

Today this same person was in the breakout area when UFO came on the TV. He watched the Century 21 logo and then said "That's how Captain Scarlet begins!". I informed him that it was made by the same company. Then he added "This must be before my time. I only remember Captain Scarlet and Stingray." (He's younger than 25) So I was forced to point out that UFO was made after both of these. You could almost see the cogs turning as he then exclaimed, "They must be repeats!"

I wonder what gems he will come out with tomorrow.